I stayed up all night again, a lot of good those 10 hours of sleep did me. I lost track of time and started dying my hair, my web-based counselling session had me looking like a troll with too much hair gel. Oh, well… it’s not like I have to make a good impression on her. We talked about how I have a hard time making friends because of the expectations I feel are placed on a friendship. And it’s true, any new friend you make expects you to be the most awesome person they’ve ever met, at least at first. I avoid making friends with women, especially, because they are so… damn… needy. They want you pre=”you “>to be their new shopping pal, shoulder to cry on, entertainment and bathroom buddy. (I don’t do the, “let’s all go to the bathroom together,” thing.) Men might only expect you to give them sex and then when that wears off, they usually just expect you to not talk too much and be decent at at least one male activity; drinking, sports, cars, etc. I never was any good at making friends, someone might think I’m great but when they text message me to say “let’s go grab lunch,” they realize I’m nothing but a flake. I don’t respond to those messages because they are so HEAVY! I don’t understand how people can have 40 friends that they hang out with and call everyday… it’s too much! Then you have Susie who doesn’t like Elaine or Felicia who dated Gary, Michelle’s ex, and feels uncomfortable around her. And competition! Good God… ladies, really, no one is going to think any less of you if you retract your claws and be humane! Then there’s the “I’m fat” ordeal… I hate trying to boost someones ego, it makes any compliment I might ever want to give feel contrived. I’m so far beyond exhausted right now, just kind of ranting.
I sprayed perfume and accidently got a mouthful, smells great – tastes HORRIBLE! I guess I’ll go brush my teeth again and then try to take a nap.
