I took 750mg of Vicodin before going to bed tonight, it did wonders for the twitching and discomfort in my legs and made me drowsy enough to fall asleep but I’m not hitting REM. After about 20 minutes of sleep, here I am pounding away at the keyboard. I was afraid to take my Ambien with the Vicodin, I didn’t ask about mixing the two and I couldn’t stop thinking I wouldn’t wake up if I took both.
I psychologist appointment on the 4th of November, finally. I also made a psychiatrist appointment for the 16th of December. I don’t know which route I’d like to take so I’ll try both and see which suits me. I feel good knowing I can finally talk to someone but I’m afraid I won’t be able to come up with the words that describe how I feel or what it is that bothers me. It’s like making a doctor’s appointment for an obscure pain in your left pinky toe and by the time you get there it doesn’t hurt anymore or you’ve gotten used to it. I hate trying to tell people what I think is wrong because I always feel like they’re skeptical of my description.
I had a panic attack before going to work today, the entire time I was in the shower I was vibrating with my pulse trying to control my body. L is getting better about being sympathetic and I think it goes a long way toward helping me push past the attack and do what I need to do. He brought me Starbucks (I hadn’t slept,) some candy and cigarettes – sometimes I can’t be thankful enough for how wonderful he can be.
